new year’s reflection

New Year's came in like a drunken whore this year with music, dancing, kissing and a whole lotta champagne, red wine, strongbow and other consumable items ... it was a whirly blur of fun with those I care about. All good things. This was the year of the duke, love and moving in together with settled domesticity; the blog and learning of HTML and other assorted fun and hair pulling; the year of new career jump and finding myself with money; the year of losing good friends who, as friends sometimes do, outlive their time and will always remain a great memory and warm spot in my heart; the year of rediscovering old friends who remained on the peripheral and then re-entered the spotlight with a bang; the year of making new friends who warm my heart and engage my mind; the year of rebuilding family ties; the year of learning photography; the year of trying new mediums of writing ... yes, I did the 100 words two months in a row - a testiment to my learning of discipline; the year of re-discovering my love of music and the folkfest extravaganza. There have been ups and downs and life and death but when I think about the past year, mostly I smile and hug myself and feel really good about it all.

Could it be that the prickly desert cactus is beginning to flower into a loving defined shape who can spread her blooms open, forgive past erroneous ways and welcome the new fragrant colours of life.

I look forward to the next year and while I don't believe in making resolutions I do believe in reflection and I enjoy the markers we humans create for ourselves. There is the arbitrary age marker which can serve to make us feel older even though only a day has passed but also allows for us to look back to where we've been. New Year's provides the same opportunity for me. Its only a day like any other but it symbolizes a marker of time and a breathe of remembrance. I have no idea what lies ahead (I have lived to long to believe in absolutes) but I know where I've been and I know how I've changed and I know that I am enjoying my life and all that it gives me. Sheesh, I am an emotional sapster for sure. Drunken laughter and story telling reminded me of a story. I think that I will periodically recall stories from my somewhat sordid but always entertaining past.

"THE DILDO" I was single, in control of my life, making things happen and so figured that I could of course take care of all my own needs. So, I did what ever woman should do and went out and selected my very own dildo. It was and is a thing of beauty and managed to keep me most satisfied and able to avoid the trolling for action one night stand night which I could never really do. The day that I bought said dildo, my parents were in town and dropped by to take me for dinner. They are so lovely and really I had to share my newest friend with them. Okay that sounds bad, when I say share I don't mean SHARE ... rather I mean I was so proud of my dildo that I had to show them. My father, being my father was rather embarrased and was all "please put that thing away" but my mother being a woman was all curious and touched it and was quite interested which of course further embarrased my poor father. Months passed and my rent on my little apartment was raised to an astronomical amount and so I did what any smart girl would do and went shopping around for a new place which I found and it was/is lovely but that's another story. Upon giving notice to my apartment, they became psychotic with showing it, every day with no real notice to myself and it was frankly pissing me off. So, I had my dildo revenge.

I placed my large, bright pink dildo in the centre of my futon (which I had made into a bed) standing straight up and put little candles and pictures around it like a shrine. Hell Yeah. They started giving me plenty of notice after that.

Happy New Year everyone!