Inspiration

I left my office for lunch a pounding headache and dark grey thoughts clouding my sight. I came back to my office after lunch lighter, smiling and light orange thoughts streaming from my eyes. Inspiration comes in many forms and I had a fantastic lunch with someone whose perspective on life was energizing, thought provoking and yes, to use the word again, inspiring. As always, life brings to your life what your soul needs and gives you people and friendships that help you down your paths.

I realized, and this should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or has read this little journal of mine from end to end, that I am floundering and wandering and trying to find my way. I have eliminated the corporate girl office space "where's my stapler" from my list of desires and while the money is definitely handy and helpful, it is not the be all and end all in terms of the way I want to live my life. As many of you know, I am good at jumping off cliffs but also smart enough to know when the water is clear and jagged rocks won't rip me apart. I have in the past while bombarded myself with try this and do that, taken up reading on web design and learning html, javascript, css and the like. I have taken up photography. I have shaked the belly. Played around with digital film. Started Y3X. I have dabbled in this and that and the other. I am unsure where I want to go, what I want to do ... I am floundering.

That's okay. I am confident that it will all shake out and I'm having fun with my learnings and little projects. I realize that I have to continue working here for at least another year but then we'll see. I think I need to see a light at the end of the tunnel, a change at the end of the drone, a different slot, a different space. The thought of staying in this spot for my eternity takes the spaces of my breathe and leaves me wheezing for air. And so I end this by saying thanks to Andrea for the gift of her words and the energy she exudes.

Sidenote: Had coffee with Asylus earlier and apparently APPARENTLY he does not like my current design. While I have been enjoying the clean design uncluttered with links and such, he has found it, well, a wee bit annoying. So, on the theme of inspiration, a redesign is in the works. Not that I am being coerced or anything like that ... but he did have some good ideas and after a discussion, I came up with a few of my own and I may be able to come up with a clean lined compromise. Maybe.