Archives of the Girly Self Absorbed

Well well well, the sun is shining and the air is a bit brisk, well downtown anyway and so am feeling very much like Fall is rising up around me ... yah! While I love all the seasons for all the reasons, Fall always feels like a new beginning, a fresh start, probably all those years as a student (and yes Roo, I too have tried to convince people that September should be considered the REAL new year, alas to much resistance, sigh).Anyway, I am dreaming of boots and retro leather coats and my beautiful new/old find of red velvet coat .. I am such a girl : ) and loving it frankly, giggle ... okay now I'm even making myself sick ... Thoughts on my girlish state: Anyone who has known me for a long time will testify to the fact that I am not girlish in anyway shape or form and have always considered myself to be more on the masculine side of life. Childhood years spent playing with boys and lamenting the fact that I was a girl, well ... those days are gone gone gone and I am actually quite happy about that. I think the transition really started a couple of years ago as I discovered the joy of nail polish and dress up and starting to feel comfortable with the girl in me and that spilled over into allowing my emotions to pour out. In the past when I was hurt, I would get cold or angry when what I really needed was to cry - but crying is for sissies, ha! Not so, crying is good and healthy and I have done a whole lot of it over the past couple of years and have started to express myself in much more healthier ways in that I am starting (I don't always hit the mark here) to express what I am really feeling so the outside matches the inside. And this includes my fashion love - yes, I like clothes and make-up and hair and nail polish and find it all very fun fun fun actually. So, I can dress in faded old blue jeans and a t-shirt and a big courderoy man's blazer (as I am dressed today) or I can don a sexy skirt and knee high leather heels and a breast enhancing top and feel just as darn comfortable - being a girl is really cool! Ah, the self-absorption of the blog ... why wasn't this available to me as a teenager, hahahahaha ... its funny really because Roo and Duke and I were having this conversation last night as I tried to convince Duke to blog. Blogging is truly all about the self-absorption but I think to it is also this community of people of share themselves with those they care about albeit in a disconnected way - its much like an artform really but with a bit of a twist. When I journal my poetry (which I will add onto here in link form eventually), it is abstract and mine and I read it only to those I choose though I feel that I can write freely here about nothing or something knowing that anyone could read it and that's okay with me - I think there is a sense of freedom in putting your words out there regardless of the consequences. Its a good thing. And frankly a little self-absorption in this world of schedules/work/raising children/learning/etc. is a good thing when done in healthy moderation. So my blogfriends, blog on! And those of you who have yet to warm up to the blogging, well give it a try, what have you got to lose?