thoughts and reflections

This time of year always gets me thinking about the past, the future as I lay suspended in that cold aired now, cocooned inside my warmth of red hues and golden yellows, brightly bidding me good day.

photo courtesy of my lovely duke at photoscopic
In the past year, I have not had anyone die on me. Well done people, I see you all read the memo. In the past year, I have started a photoblog. I have entered that magical mystical warm place full of insight, beauty, colour and hues of blacks and whites slashed before my eyes. I have started carrying an assortment of cameras with me everywhere and even more importantly, I have started viewing the world with new eyes. I have made wonderful friends a click away who share themselves and their worlds with such wonderful abandon. In the past year, I have taught myself a little bit about html, css and assorted web trickery. Believe me when I say, I have much to learn but I know enough to have created this little space and I am rather proud of that. In the past year, I have discovered the joy of make-up and style, the pampering of the spa and the joy of a pedicure. I have learned that it is okay to spend some time on oneself's own beautifcation and to stand up in confidence. In the past year, I have fallen more deeply in love with the two boys in my life. My Duke and my Aiden as we've jumped off cliffs, dived in ocean's water, canoed over rivers canyon and farted over movies laugh.
In the past year, I have cared enough about myself and the people I love to stop smoking. I look back and realize that I started photoblogging when I stopped smoking, replacing one addiction for another. I think I made the healthy choice and am much happier for it. In the past year, I have realized that a promotion and more money are not what will make me happy. Money is meaningless if you are not doing what fulfills you which brings me to the new year ... In the new year, I am going to make a driven effort to pay up any outstanding debts (luckily it won't take long as I'm not a big believer in debt) so that I can pursue new fields of career goals. I am going to seek out work that makes my heart sing knowing I am doing something meaningful with my life. In the meantime, I will make the best of my current situation and attempt to find some happiness where I am while doing the best job I can do. In the new year, I am going to continue learning, laughing, loving. I am going to find new ways to combat stress and fight the power and dip into my own creativity. In the new year, I am going to find new cliffs to jump off while finding joy in the simple smile of a sunlit room. I am always making lists and goals and dreams and spreading my thoughts across a future I can't quite make out so I won't list it all here today but I have plans oh so many plans but mostly I just want to drift along on a cloud of contentment knowing that I am where I am supposed to be with those I am supposed to be with. In the new year, I am going to try to be more relaxed about life. The year ended in tragedy and tears flowed and disbelief and shock rolled off my head and I realized again how precious life is and how easily it can be taken away. If you have the ability to do so, remember those who need our help and send in a donation to give relief to tsunami victims. If you live in Canada and donate before January 11, 2005 the Canadian government will match the gift. Life is precious and beautiful and should not be wasted but used with every molecule of every being and felt with every part of every inch of skin and I fully intend to breathe in and really live and hopefully contribute my own beauty, peace and joy. Dream on.