Untitled light and dark and lazy days of gin tonics take up residence in the sky and i am content even as i flounder

back and forth

between the light and the dark.

this life

is everything and nothing.

bills mount and repairs on my old house feel endless, a clinking of dollars floating out of my grasp. and the sun shines. and the rains deluge. and snow is foreshadowed in the plump green of the trees.  i cut my finger slicing an onion and juice runs red from the freshly plucked tomato still warmed from the sun. 

and i stare at the sky. poke my brush into paint and colour the sky across my walls. and i wander in my head sometimes smiling at the ease of my interactions and sometimes wanting to run screaming into solitude at the pain of my interactions.

and i stare at the sky.

wondering where peace resides even as i know that it is a subtle swing, a lightning bolt and a resounding clash of grumbling thunder. a release. a warming. a simmering below the surface. a hug of love. a word of anger. a mistake. a loss. a fault line through the fertile earth. a weed that has taken over the orderly dissarray of blooms. a wish in my soul bloodied by the last article i read relegating me back to the fear. 

and we walk this earth for such a finite time, the skies infinitely just a gaze away.